Counting Days, Choosing Love ❤️

If you’ve been on social media recently, you may have seen something about 365 buttons.

The Trend Is Fun, The Truth Is Deep

The idea came from Tamara (@flylikeadove on TikTok), who said, “I’m getting 365 buttons, one for each day, because I want to do more stuff and I’m scared of time, so I want to be more conscious of it.” When people asked why, her answer was simple: "Hey, so it actually only has to make sense to me for me to do it and I don't feel like explaining it to anyone else."

Since then, people have asked her to elaborate and create more content. She keeps saying no.

She’s set a boundary, and she’s sticking to it. That’s part of why the whole thing hits. It isn’t really about the buttons. It’s about protecting what matters and not letting the internet turn something personal into content.

Love asks for the same boundary. You can’t build connection if your time together is always interrupted or needs a public explanation.

This is especially true when it comes to boundaries for marriage and long-term relationships. You can’t build a secure emotional connection if your time together is frequently interrupted or needs a public explanation.

Guarding your time as a couple isn’t selfish. It’s essential. If you set aside space to date, rest, or just sit together, you don’t owe anyone an invite or a reason. It only has to make sense to the two of you.

Time Moves Quietly & Love Needs Attention

Time doesn't shout. It slips by. One sunrise. One chore. One “we’ll talk later.”

Then a week’s gone, and you realize you haven’t really looked at each other in a while. You haven’t really talked with each other except for daily chores and errands. But we all instinctively know that “relationships need ongoing care, attention, and effort.” (Diane Rooker)

You don’t have to force it. Just notice each other. When you do, the small stuff changes. You speak a little kinder. You put the phone away. You ask, How are you really doing? I want to know, and I have time to listen.

Small Moments Can Do Most Of The Work

Relationship drift rarely shows up dramatically. Instead, it looks like two phones on the couch. A dinner that feels like logistics. Sleep winning over connection for the tenth night in a row.

When you’re more aware of time passing, you notice the drift sooner. You don’t force it. You just say, Let’s not spiral. Can we start fresh?

5 Ways To Spend Time Like It Matters

1. Make eye contact when you say “I love you.” Mean it.

   
   

2. Leave a note where they’ll find it when they’re not expecting it.

   
   

3. Laugh at something that isn’t all that funny, just because you’re together.

   
   

4. Forgive something small so quickly that it surprises your pride.

   
   

5. Notice the small wins, like how they still know your coffee order.

Awareness Helps. Control Does Not

You can’t control a relationship like a project manager. But you have a say in how you are in it. You can show up. You can notice the moment you get defensive, and you can decide to take a deep breath instead. You can admit when you pulled away because something felt tender. You can reach out a little sooner than last time.

You can keep your heart open long enough to see the other person's perspective, too.

Guard Your Time Together

Calendars fill up fast. If you’re not careful, your relationship will get the leftovers. Connection doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when you protect your shared time like it’s your top priority.

Make date night a nonnegotiable. Turn off your phones for a couple of hours. Block an evening that no one else gets access to. Even when people push for your time, “Learning to say no with tact and kindness empowers you to protect your time and energy.” (Jagkirpal Channa, MFT, MS)

That isn’t being closed off. That’s being intentional. Just like Tamara’s boundary, it only has to make sense to you two.

When You Stop Counting, You Start Noticing

You don’t need a jar of buttons to get this right. Collect other things if you want. A playlist for a drive. A joke that always lands. A Tuesday that feels simple and special.

The buttons are just a picture. The point is presence. Remember that days aren’t endless, and you get to choose how many you give to grudges, spirals, and distance.

3 Truths About Time and Love

1. Time runs fast, but savoring love slows it down

2. The best moments rarely look impressive online

3. You don’t need a big overhaul. Just keep showing up while being fully present

If You Want A Nudge, Start Here

Try one small shift today. Ask a curious question. Share one specific appreciation. Sit close during a show. Take a short walk without phones. Small and real tend to work, especially when you’re figuring out how to reconnect to your partner.

Make it simple by getting my free resource: 10 Simple Shifts to Increase Fun & Intimacy. Let it start a conversation, not a checklist.

What The Buttons Are Really Saying

The jar isn’t magic. You are. The ordinary you. The two of you who keep choosing each other. Protecting your time together without the need for explanation. 

When you start paying attention to time, you remember how precious it is to still have a person whose face lights up when you walk in.

If you’ve been a little off, that’s not failure. It’s feedback. Time awareness brings it into focus so you can try again without waiting for a perfect moment.

🌿 Next Steps That Keep Time on Your Side

1. Join The Waitlist

Join the waitlist for The Reconnect Experience, where I share the same tools I use in sessions to help couples pause before a two-minute misunderstanding ruins the evening.

Inside, you’ll find: 

• clear scripts for what to say when things get tense 

• guided practices to calm your body so you can actually listen 

• one private 45-minute coaching session with me to fit your real relationship

It opens a few times a year, and it’s simple, practical, and built for real life.

2. Grab Your Freebie 

Download 10 Simple Shifts to Increase Fun & Intimacy. It’s an easy, actionable guide to help you reconnect without a full overhaul.

3. Book A Complimentary Call

If you’re ready to be more intentional with your time together, book a complimentary introductory call with me. We’ll talk about what’s been hard, what’s still good, and how to make the next chapter lighter and more connected.

Let’s Keep The Conversation Going

If this blog resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. I read all the comments, not because I have all the answers, but because I love your stories. When you leave a comment and a heart, they remind me that time really is the best teacher, and love is still the best thing we get to learn.