Growing Together, Not Apart: How to Strengthen Your Relationship as Life Changes

5 min read

Relationships are always changing—just like the two of you!

The real question is, are you growing closer, discovering new layers of connection, or does it feel like you’re plateaued or drifting apart?

Whether it’s a new job, a growing family, or just the natural shifts that come with time, change is inevitable. But instead of seeing it as a threat, what if you embraced it as an opportunity to deepen your connection?

As a relationship coach and licensed psychologist, I’ve seen countless couples navigate the ups and downs of change. I often help couples who come in asking what does anxiety feel like or asking what we can do to make our relationship stronger. Let’s talk about how to grow together, not apart, with some playful, heartfelt, and totally doable strategies.

1️⃣ Prioritize Play and Curiosity

When was the last time you laughed until your stomach hurt? If it’s been a while, it might be time to shake things up. Playfulness and curiosity are superpowers in relationships, especially during times of change.

Take Maya and James, for example. After their first baby was born, their relationship started feeling more like a business partnership—diapers, schedules, and very little fun. So, they made a commitment: once a week, they’d do something completely unserious together.

One week it was a mini Nerf gun battle in the living room, another time they tried karaoke in the car. The result? They felt more connected and more “them” again.

What do you think of this couples growing together quote? Share your thoughts in the comments!

“We are most alive when we’re in

love.” – John Updike

Action Step: Pick a playful activity you haven’t done together in years—whether it’s a board game, a scavenger hunt, or learning a TikTok dance—and make it happen this week.

Want to learn more about how playfulness strengthens relationships?

Check out this article on How Playfulness Improves Relationships
Learn more about the Having Fun module of my Harmony Method for couples who want to decrease conflict and increase intimacy.

2️⃣ The 3-Day Couples Connection Challenge

If you’re looking for a structured yet simple way to reconnect, my 3-Day Couples Connection Challenge is a perfect place to start. It’s free, fun, and designed to spark fresh conversations and help you be a closer couple.

Each day, you’ll receive a short quiz and conversation prompts focused on:

✔ Understanding each other’s love language around gifts

✔ Discovering your socializing styles as a couple

✔ Exploring how seasons of life impact your relationship

✔ Bonus material too!

Lena and Chris had always been close, but as their youngest prepared to leave for college, they started feeling like strangers in their own home. They wanted to make sure they didn’t lose sight of their connection in this new phase of life. When they heard about the 3-Day Couples Connection Challenge, they saw it as a fun way to start rebuilding their bond. They hoped it would spark meaningful conversations and give them tools to reconnect in fresh ways.

Benefits of the Challenge:

Learn something new about each other, no matter how long you’ve been together.
Strengthen emotional intimacy through meaningful conversations.
Make communication effortless and enjoyable with fun, engaging prompts.
Create intentional moments that help build long-lasting connection that endures through transition.
Feel more seen and understood as you share your thoughts in a fun, low-pressure way.

Action Step: Sign up here to get started today!

Want more on deepening intimacy through couples questions to grow closer? Read 10 Questions Happy Couples Are Constantly Asking One Another

3️⃣ Embrace Change as a Team

Change doesn’t have to be the villain in your love story—it can be the plot twist that brings you closer. The key? Facing it together with openness and teamwork.

Samantha and Jordan had been together for 15 years when Jordan’s job relocated them to a new city.

Instead of letting stress and resentment build, they made a game out of exploring their new home. They created a “new city bucket list” and tried one new thing each week. The adventure kept them connected and made the transition exciting instead of overwhelming.

Action Step: If you and your partner are facing a big change, brainstorm ways to turn it into an adventure together. What’s one way you can make it fun?

4️⃣ Keep Communication Intentional (Not Just Functional)

It’s so easy to slip into conversations that only revolve around schedules and to-dos. But during times of change, it’s more important than ever to have real, heartfelt conversations.

joyful couple having a fun conversation in their living room

Jake and Mia found themselves communicating mostly through text messages—“Pick up milk?” “Meeting at 3 pm.” Their emotional connection was fading. So, they started a ritual called “ rose, thorn, and bud” every evening. They each shared a highlight of their day (rose), a challenge (thorn), and something they were looking forward to (bud). This small shift brought back a sense of closeness.

Try this:

Instead of “How was your day?” ask, What was the best part of your day?
Take a break from scrolling on your phones in silence to share what you appreciate about each other before bed.
Once a week, set aside time for a real, uninterrupted conversation about something that matters.

Action Step: Check out my approach to couples coaching for more peace, less stress & better sex.

5️⃣ Strengthen Your Friendship

At the core of every strong relationship is friendship. During times of change, it’s easy to get caught up in logistics and forget to nurture that foundation.

couple having a deep and meaningful conversation in bed

Steve and Rachel had been together for 8 years when Rachel realized they spent more time talking about their kids than about themselves. They made a list of things they loved doing when they first met—listening to music, taking long drives, and trying new restaurants—and committed to bringing those things back. Their friendship flourished, and their marriage felt more alive than ever.

Action Step: Take 15 minutes today to reminisce about the early days of your relationship. What first drew you to each other? What inside jokes did you share? Reignite that friendship.

Next Steps

Want to put these ideas into action? Here’s how:

Sign up for the 3-Day Couples Connection Challenge—It’s free, fun, and designed to deepen your bond. Sign up here!
Schedule a Complimentary 15-Minute Consultation—Let’s chat about how to strengthen your relationship. Book your session here!
Join My Facebook Group—I share weekly tips, resources, and support for building a healthy, happy relationship. Join here!
Join the Empty Nesters Thriving Together Group—If you're approaching the empty nest stage and wondering what’s next, this group is for you. It's a space to rediscover yourself, reconnect with your partner, and create a fulfilling life beyond parenting. You’ll gain support, strategies, and community with others navigating the same transition. Join the waitlist here!

Note: I prioritize my clients’ privacy and never share their personal stories publicly. The experiences shared here are inspired by common relationship patterns and challenges I’ve observed.